sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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