I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
