FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just googled if crying burns calories
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
