people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
