We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
