There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize