Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
