Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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