A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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