it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
