So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
