dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Enjoy the penises
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