I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
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