I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
Randomize
