I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
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