dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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