it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize