If i come over, it means nothing
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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