By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
