I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
This bitch flirting at the bar needs to close her legs and open up a book. I can literally feel my IQ dropping every time she bends down to show her tits.
Jealous?
Very.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
