Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize