You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
