2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
