I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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