well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
