I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
I think I sprained my soul last night
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Randomize
