I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
