I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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