His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
