We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
Blizzard, Hour 9: I'm 7 beers deep and have finished Ninja Turtles. I am listening to the NYPD and Nassau Fire Dept pipes and drums and writing new drum scores in my head, which I may or may not remember tomorrow
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
