dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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