so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Randomize
