Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
