you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
I think my vagina is haunted
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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