my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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