sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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