this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
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