Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I wear drunk well.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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