I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
