i just made my gag reflex go away.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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