This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
Randomize
