The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
