I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize