in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Randomize
