Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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