just come out here and I will go home with you...
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
