I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
We lost our room key and found it in his pocket with 3 pieces of fish.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Randomize
