BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
