I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
