like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
