Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
No...this little piggys going to the bar
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize