Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize