Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
do herpes really smell.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
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