do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
