I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
