my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I'm bleeding and have questions
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
