Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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