i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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