You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
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