Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
Randomize
