It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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