i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Randomize
