I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
