How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
