On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Farmville is her only friend.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
