So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Someone signed my nipple.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize