No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
