I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
Randomize
