what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
