she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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